Identity Crisis: Pluto in Action

Transformation begins when you look in the mirror and don’t know who the hell you are.

Yeah, that uncomfortable place.

For those of us that live in the illusion of control - we have a hard time with this feeling.

We hear so much messaging about following our path, finding our purpose, living our truth…etc.

And we feel this damned pressure to figure it all out.

They ain’t lyin’ when they say that it’s the journey, not the destination. And that’s probably the most difficult thing to accept.

But when we can - when we can just lean into the NOT knowing.

It’s the sweet space.

The space of potential.

Usually, life forces us into this baby step place that births transformation.

Death, divorce, health crises, breakup, job loss, menopause - and even the happy stuff - marriage, new baby, empty nesting (okay, that’s both) moving, a new job you love, or when you’re up-leveling in your business or your life (growing and getting rid of the old stuff, people and environments that don’t fit anymore)

There’s a pause, like when the sailboat can’t find the wind in its sails just yet.

And the dream ahead isn’t clear.

Pluto rules a lot of this space. Not all of it, but the deep, transformational part. Uranus can bring in the unpredictable change, but Pluto makes you integrate it and rewire it.

Every year, we have a Pluto retrograde - When Pluto unties our reality for a bit and makes us figure out how to tie it all back together again. The universe is smart that way.

And usually, you’re grieving. You’re grieving hard.

You’re missing the you that you were. And not quite sure who the next you is going to be.

You feel like you don’t have the tools to get there.

You get scared, and you miss the people, places, things and situations that made you feel secure. But when you’re really, really honest with yourself. You realize in all of the situations, you were there, too. That version still exists in you. 

We die to ourselves sometimes. We feel like it’s all ending. And part of it is.

Every past version of yourself still lives.

The things that die, die because it’s time. And you don’t always get to choose when it dies - or how.

So when you look in the mirror, and wonder who the hell you are right now…

I’ll tell you the answer. You’re you. And you will be you tomorrow. And you create the security and safety in your life, and you create the love, and the wild abandon, and the adventure, and the hope.

The universe just comes in with tests and trials here and there.

And you get to choose. And you get to be okay with the not-knowing. Because the next version of you shows up.

In all the stumbly steps you take from this moment. Just like it did before. You showed up. You became that next version of you.

Sometimes you need a guide. You need some tools. You need support. Never find shame in that.

Holy and sacred people will show up, if it’s your prayer to find them  It’s up to you to take a hand that’s offered. To invest in yourself. Sometimes it’s a whole damn team.

Trust me, I have one. A team of people who hold my hand when the darkness is disorienting.

They won’t do the work for me, because the transformation is mine. 

But they are the ones who have been there, who understand life as sacred and joyful, but can look at pain and support me in that space, too.

So when Pluto, transformation, transitions, or just that frustrating place of the not-knowing has got you in a choke hold…know you’re not alone.

And the next you is here, even in this moment. No pressure, no expectations. The wind will pick back up, the sails will billow full of a westward wind, and you’ll be on your way, as you have been so many times before. The next shore awaits.

If you’re ready to start moving forward, book a

First Steps Transformational Reading.

We will focus in on a maximum of two areas in your life and dive deep - looking at timing, themes, and action items personally co-created for your next steps.

Are you an Alchemist?

I’ve been practicing alchemy since I was a child. Maybe you have too.

It’s how we move on through pain and loss. It’s how we choose to view challenges and blocks.

Do we stay stuck, or do we alchemize?

Spiritual or energetic alchemy is the process of transforming something difficult, traumatic, or of low energetic vibration - into something useful, beautiful, or of light energy and higher vibration.

The definition of alchemy is the transformation of matter. Coal into diamond, base metals Into gold.

Alchemy does not mean facing something horrible and glossing over it and pretending it’s great. Sometimes we do have to do this, however. Maybe we run into someone in public that we don’t particularly want to see because there is bad blood between us. But we smile and act cordial. The problem isn’t solved, you see, but sometimes we do have to be sane and kind - even if the reality is we are uncomfortable or seething inside.

But let’s take the idea of that person and the problem you have with them. Maybe it’s a long standing fight. Maybe they did something horrible to you. Maybe you did something horrible to them. 

So you get back home and you journal about it. Maybe you get all of your rage out on paper and then burn it - or write them a letter that you never send. Maybe you talk it through with someone neutral you trust, or a therapist. Emotions and feelings are released. Eventually, you are able to look at the friendship from a different view. You can remember the good things about the relationship, how it helped you grow, the fun times, or the things you learned that you DON’T want in a relationship again. But you are grateful. You understand this person came into your life for a reason, and you CHOSE it - as part of your spiritual development on earth. It took you somewhere you needed to go, on a soul level.

When you see this person again, even if you haven’t cleared the air with them on a one-to-one level - you have energetically shifted. You have become detached, an observer, and if anything, you lean towards compassion for them and understanding for both of you. This energy can be felt, and it neutralizes the relationship environment so that you are not triggered when you see them in the same way. You can send love from your heart, even if you don’t speak. You have alchemized a very heavy energy into one of light. 

Forgiveness is alchemy in action.

This is one very basic example. One thing about alchemy, it is a personal process, and must have its own time - it can’t be rushed. Alchemizing one thing into another - the very basic process of transformation, consumes a great deal of energy. And once you learn to alchemize, and feel the positive effects from it, the process does get faster.

 It gets faster and easier because you realize that heavy, low value energy only serves to hurt you and weigh you down. You feel the deep and lasting rewards of alchemizing pain or anger into lightness and ease.

You can alchemize deep trauma. You can alchemize the pain from rape, abuse, divorce, death.

If this feels impossible, think about it.  How many stories have you heard about individuals who take deep tragedy and turn it into something powerful? A nonprofit that helps other victims of the hate crimes, parents who develop a scholarship for youth after their child dies, a woman who helps others through the isolating pain of rape through support groups or sharing their story… 

This is one of the most beautiful and powerful abilities of a human - to be able to turn pain into joy, loss and tragedy into triumph. 

Healing is the power of alchemy.  

The people who do and create the things I mention above, simply cannot stay in a rage and hate place and affect positive and loving change. They have grieved, wept, bargained with their God, hated perpetrators and wished for revenge. They have traveled a great journey inside themselves in order to alchemize their pain and hurt into something that lightens the burden of others. That takes love. It takes light. It takes work, spiritual work.

Remove the guilt and shame for having the real feelings that every human does when they are wronged or have been in pain. There is no shame in going through all the facets of human emotion when we’ve been through trauma, transition, loss. This is part of the alchemy process. 

You may have heard the term ‘spiritual bypassing’. This means jumping over the steps of healing just to pretend or say that you’re healed. It means being afraid to experience true sadness, grief, or rage - the dirty emotions OR the things we aren’t doing so well in our lives. It can look like refusing to change on a deep level, but pretending we’ve done the work. This involves a bit of denial and repression. And denial and repression often feels ‘easier’ - but the long-term effects prove it is not. The event or person will still trigger us and traumatize us so deeply, that repression instead of expression becomes our MO. And that pain often comes out sideways, or presents itself with symptoms of poor health - mental and physical.

Anyone who has truly alchemized trauma knows that to be healed can often mean traversing the dark night of the soul.

But here again, I must say that alchemy can be very easy and quick the less intense the trauma or situation. and it also can get easier and quicker with emotional maturity and wisdom. This does not mean people are spiritually bypassing the healing process, but rather they're just getting damn good at it.

Some traumas are too deep to ever process quickly.  I have abandonment issues because I had an alcoholic father who didn't show up for me emotionally or physically the majority of my life. this alchemical process has been ongoing. 

It is lighter than it has ever been and I have a emotional observation of the wound like I never have before. and I can truly be present and empathetic for clients and friends who have faced the same wound. I am not in the mud of the trauma any longer. I don't live in the place of anger or resentment. I have traversed all stages of grief and the many steps of alchemy. 

That being said - such as life is -  it brings us many repeated experiences to test our growth and our ability to love ourselves and others in safe and healthy ways. It is a lifelong journey and I still have to access my supports, the people I love in my life and my therapist when those moments come up for me. 

This is also true in such life events as divorce and co-parenting. There can be many pain points we’ve alchemized in that journey, but life happens! And we can be re-triggered. But it’s practice, right? It’s my “catch and release” philosophy in action. Experience the emotions, cry, rage, and release to the light. And we march on!

Sometimes the alchemy process is not wholly complete and finished, but ongoing and just as beautiful in the ongoing journey as it is in the completion.. Being willing for self awareness, for understanding the strength in being compassionately unattached…this is all part of turning low vibration into high. It is in the choosing of lightness that we turn the base metal into gold.

The powerful cosmic universe gives us a guide for Alchemy. Each sign, in it’s unique strengths and beauty, symbolize and honor the stages of trauma and grief. We begin with Scorpio, the sign that lives in our depths, and understands pain - and we end up with Libra, that symbolizes balance and equality. Just like the stages of grief, the process is often not linear.

How do we learn to Alchemize? Simply by being willing to surrender to pain, and having the dedication to rise up from the mud. Don’t hang out there too long, in the mire. Always be reaching for the light, and asking for help as needed along the way. Recognize that we are never finished and that healing is a lifelong journey.

The 12 stages of Alchemy through the Zodiac 

Scorpio: Depth of trauma (in the mire)

Sagittarius: Alchemy

Capricorn: Rebuilding

Aquarius: Detachment/observation of wound

Pisces: Ultimate empathy for other

Aries: Action and moving forward

Taurus: Gifting & grounding

Gemini: Talking through/mental processing

Cancer: Nurture self & other

Leo: Celebration

Virgo: Regulate & maintain

Libra: Balance & equilibrium

@zingastrology

Recommended reading:

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Not a how-to book, but a beautiful journey of love & hope through challenge